


For The Heart You Made Love

by Susanoosama01



Series: My Midam Fics [13]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Assassination Attempt(s), Harems, M/M, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25802614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Susanoosama01/pseuds/Susanoosama01
Summary: It will be easy. He will get in the King's harem then his bed and finally his heart.King Michael will be dead soon.
Relationships: Michael & Adam Milligan, Michael/Adam Milligan
Series: My Midam Fics [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1725154
Comments: 25
Kudos: 42





	1. Chapter 1

Adam takes a deep breath and rights his stance as he waits in the line with nothing but a meager towel around his waist. 

There are dozens of men and women here, in the lowest floor of the palace. They are in the bathing area, a marble chamber that seems larger than a whole house of a middle class tradesman with various sinks, basins, fountains and a even a spring right outside the double doors to Adam’s right in a secluded corner of of the courtyard reserved for the Consorts of the King and not everyone in his harem. 

Adam heard countless tales about the King with a thousand wives and a thousand husbands as he grew up. He heard how young women and men are captured, stripped off their freedom and presented to the King after they are made into obedient slaves. He knows how young women’s homesick songs and the young men’s agonizing sobs resonate in the cold stone halls of the palace in the coldest of nights. He knows how the older slaves are made into servants that run the palace’s work. He knows how the ones the King doesn’t want are married off to soldiers, merchants, free servants or occasionally a member of the King’s Court if they are lucky. He knows about it all. He knows the cruelty, the inhumane way these people are being treated. So he doesn’t feel the slightest remorse or hesitation now.  _ Not at all. _

It is going to be easy.  _ Get chosen to be accepted into the King’s harem _ . He will, since he is healthy, very young and not bad in the looks too.  _ Make the King notice you somehow and get into his bed. _ Well, Adam is good at drawing attention to himself. And as he looks around, he sees the same hopeless and broken look on each of these slaves’ faces. Adam is here to really win the King over so his rivals will be the already chosen Consorts of the King only.  _ Get promoted to a Consort. _ It is going to be easier for him if he regularly gets in and out of the King’s bedroom and has his own room rather than sleeping on a mat in the main harem quarters where all the slaves reside. So he will. And eventually…

_ Kill the King. _

Adam will. 

The physician makes Adam sit on a stool like everyone else before him. He spreads his legs without any struggle and doesn’t even gasp or flinch as the woman pokes around examining the  _ product.  _ Adam watches the two groups in front of him in the meantime. One of the men and women accepted into the harem and the other of the ones who will be sent back either to their original captors who wanted to gift them to the King or the slave auctions because they are too old, damaged, not pretty enough or not virgins in the women’s cases.  _ Only the most perfect for the glorious King after all. _ Adam has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from sneering at the thought. 

The woman leans back, done down there and one of the eunuchs drag Adam to stand with the eight men and three women ahead, the accepted ones. Adam smiles to himself like the other eleven slaves who got out of being thrown out. Pitiful souls, they are even ready to mop the palace’s floors for the rest of their lives without their freedoms or the chance to found their own families if it is guaranteed that they won’t go hungry or be beaten to death like in a smaller household that might buy them after being rejected by the palace. Adam is just thankful that he isn’t one of them. Not really. And his plan is already moving forward. Soon, he will be done here. Soon, he can go back to his mother. 

* * *

The harem quarters are lively at this hour of the evening. The slaves who already live there inspect the fifteen newcomers closely as if they don’t have any greater entertainment here. Adam can see in their eyes that some are mirthful probably planning to load chores on the ‘novices’, some are nervous clearly jealous of the glowing skin and the beautiful eyes they see openly in worry for their own fate and plans to be a Consort for a comfortable life and some are young boys and girls only hoping for a friend. 

Adam is aware of the many pairs of eyes on him as he is given a white nightgown identical with all the other newcomers’ and taken to a mat with a thin blanket and a single pillow. The eunuch starts lecturing them about the rules of the harem immediately once everyone finds their place.  _ Be silent and polite. No noise, no fights. Obey every order. Work hard on your lessons. Everyone here raises themselves for the King. Be clever. If you do all of these and live by the rules you will be a Consort. You will live a serene and luxurious life. For the women, if you give the King a son, you might even be a Queen. _ Do your best.

Adam only chuckles to himself. So this is it. This is life for these poor souls. Their only chance to become something is to catch the King’s eye who might still throw them away if he isn’t pleased. His hate for the faceless monster adorned in gold, pearls and jewels grows even more seeing all of this. Soon, he tells himself, it will be over. He might even manage to free these people. 

The eunuch turns and glares at Adam at the little sound he made so Adam bows his head and slowly drops his towel to his feet. Then he bends down to pick the nightgown up from where he placed it on his pillow like all the others when the old man started to talk. He moves carefully, making a show out of it as he slides the thin garment on and doesn’t tie the two laces falling from both sides of his collar leaving a deep neckline that reveals his collarbone and chest. He makes sure all the eunuchs and the few women who are also responsible of the King’s harem sees him. He will have a greatest chance to be presented to the King this way. And whoever chooses him will get a reward from the King in gold if Adam ends up pleasing the man. This is a game he can play. Just like chess. These people who are here to keep him in line and teach him are pawns. Adam already has a few ideas to collect all of them. He has to do this right. For himself. For the slaves who cry for their homes from where they were kidnapped.  _ For his mom. _

Adam grew up knowing killing is wrong. Nothing can justify to end a human’s life, his mom would tell him if they read such a thing in one of the old books snuggled together in front of their small fireplace that was almost never alight in the dead of the winter desperately trying to forget the cold. But the King, Michael, isn’t a human. He is a monster who feeds on young girls and boys, who steals their lives and who lives a glorious life while peasants starve. Adam will do God’s work ending him. He has to. For his mom, he reminds himself.

* * *

Michael leaves his chambers reluctantly and with dragging steps. It is the first day of the month again. The day when he has to walk through the harem quarters. Whoever he looks at for a few seconds only will later be thoroughly inspected, dressed up, polished, taught ridiculous dances and sent to his bedroom as soon as possible. The Head Eunuch Zachariah will choose men to please him and a woman squeezed in for a heir that Michael is yet to sire. His bedroom is almost never empty thanks to  _ because of _ that man. Michael knows he can’t do anything about that though. He is the King. He has to take care of his harem. Or the people will talk. And that just can’t happen. 

With a sigh, he starts descending the stairs. Zachariah was talking about newcomers a few days ago. A total of sixty two slaves were gifted to him by various nobles, captains who returned from exotic lands and every other kind of two faced bastards that only want his favors. Only fifteen were accepted as the old eunuch reported. Great. Fifteen new lives to age and wither between the harem walls. To always long to be free and see the world outside. To forget what it was to own themselves. To forget their families, their homes. Fifteen new sacrifices to this goddamned pit. If only there was a way to change the centuries old rules of the palace…

* * *

“Get in line! All of you! Move the mats away! Get in line!-” The Head Eunuch shouts echoed by a few others. The free servants poke and shove the slaves to get them moving. They are all supposed to clear out the quarters and stand in line for the King to walk around, view and choose his bedwarmers for the month. “-Remember! You will all bow as soon as the King enters! No looking at him! No speaking! You will stand still and wait until His Majesty is out! In line, now!” 

Adam moves fast folding his nightgown and quickly pushing the mat away to the corners of the room like everyone else. Then he returns to his spot and fixes his tight, light blue shirt that all the men here wear. One of the women who supervise the process nods at him approvingly and moves to check someone else. Adam waits quietly until the doors open. 

The room falls silent instantly. Adam hears the heels of fine shoes hitting the marble floor. The King walks into the room, stops for a moment then starts to walk again. Discreetly, Adam raises his eyes when the footsteps get closer. The King doesn’t stop in front of him. Just like he wanted. He raises his head, sees Zachariah starting as if hit by a bolt of thunder and a few women frantically gesturing to him to lower his head behind the King’s back. Adam steps out of the line.

“My Lord Michael!” He shouts and the King turns to him. The man is tall, dark haired and well built. Adam observes the confused crease in his brow then the way his eyes widen when Adam makes his knees tremble and sways visibly. Before he hits the floor, the King leaps forward to catch him. He makes sure to put an awed expression on his face and raises an exaggeratedly shaking hand to caress the King’s cheek. Then he closes his eyes and lets himself fall bonelessly with the King stumbling on his knees too. 

“Hey! Kid-”  _ Kid? _ Adam has to try very hard to not react to that. He still has fifteen seconds or so to ‘wake up’ before a physician is called and his fake fainting spell is uncovered. “-Zachariah! What is the meaning of this? What’s wrong with him? Get a physician!” The King’s raged, roaring voice causes several heavy footsteps and murmurs among the other slaves. Adam feels himself getting lightly slapped a few times before a few drops of water hits his face likely from one of the jugs around the slaves’ mats. Deeming it enough, he cracks his eyes open and takes a deep breath. The King is leaning close over him, inspecting Adam’s face as he flickers his eyes around and fakes confusion. He hears the other man sigh above his face. 

Quickly, Adam is moved to the infirmary. The King lets one of his guards carry Adam but looks after them until they turn the corner. Once, Adam is laid on a cot and the physician is frowning down at him, he lets himself look apologetically at Zachariah who stands behind the old woman pouring a draught in his mouth, furious. “He looks a little drained, sir. And he must have gotten really excited. His heart is still beating fast. Poor boy, the quarters were probably very stuffy too.” Adam mentally gives himself the thumbs up at that. The mix of ephedra and guarana he stole from the kitchen when he volunteered to carry all the food for dinner to the harem quarters worked wonders. The physician is right, his heart is racing from that. And going hungry since the previous day as he planned helped too. This way, he can’t be punished too severely for being ill. He is the King’s property. No one can harm him. Maybe a few slaps, more chores for a few days or smaller meals at most. What’s important is that he managed to make the King take a closer look at him.

* * *

That evening, Zachariah is brought to Michael’s chambers to give a report about the harem’s affairs in the previous month like he does every first day of a month. The old eunuch rambles on and on about expenses and how they are still ahead of the yearly budget thus very successful. Also the two Consorts of Michael, a woman named Hannah and a man named Castiel, are in fine health too. To be honest, Michael doesn’t really want to know anything specific about them. He only called them to his bedroom once each and promoted them because he was newly crowned back then and in need of Consorts according to his advisors. He doesn’t even know them. Only, they are both easy-going and silent. They don’t require much attention if none and they keep the people from speaking that their King fails in bed. He has only been on the throne for a few months anyway. He still has time to become a father. So he doesn’t concern himself too much with his harem beyond what he explicitly has to do like entertaining one slave a few times a week for an hour tops then sending him or her back to the quarters. They are all like ragdolls so his job isn’t too hard. They all stay still and let Michael do whatever. And Michael only has to do  _ something  _ so the slaves don’t talk about a distant King who doesn’t even touch them and there starts rumours about his virility. Beyond that, Michael really doesn’t care.

Except, the thoughts of what happened earlier today linger stubbornly in his mind. That young man who dared to speak his name then passed out in his arms… Michael had checked his pulse. Strong and rapid. The slave had woken up too so it probably wasn’t anything of importance but- For some reason, Michael couldn’t stop thinking about it. Nothing of the sort had ever happened before. Life was mundane down at the harem. No slave had ever looked right into his eyes before. Part of Michael wonders about that one kid who was clearly out of his mind. 

In the background, Zachariah still talks some nonsense about numbers and slaves. Michael decides to interrupt him or he will really pass out like that slave from boredom. “Zachariah, what happened to that slave today?” The man stops abruptly to listen to his King’s question then tilts his head to the side. 

“The one who got so excited when he saw you that he fainted, Your Highness?-” Michael nods and Zachariah smiles with all his fake glee. “-He is okay, sire. As I said, just excited. I felt his heart myself with the physician. Just like a little finch’s it was. Of course he will be reprimanded for his disrespect and punished accord-” Michael waves a dismissive hand cutting of the eunuch’s self righteous declaration there.

“No Zachariah. No need. Make sure he eats and sleeps, that’s all. I don’t want any member of my harem getting sick. I trust you.” Zachariah bows respectfully but Michael doesn’t miss the annoyed glint in his eye. He knows this man. He knows that the eunuch is obsessed with impressions and getting praise from the King. Hopefully, he won’t give that slave any more trouble than he does the others after Michael specially asked about him.

* * *

“The little jester, you are. How dare you look at our King let alone speak his name!? And what was that throwing yourself on him?  _ Who do you think you are? _ ” Adam bears the slap that follows with gritted teeth and says nothing. Uriel, one of Zachariah’s underlings, likes to do this to the slaves whenever he has the occasion, he has heard. But this man used to be an apprentice of the harem’s physician so Adam doesn’t dare to answer him no matter how much he wants to strangle that ape. He can’t have someone claiming he faked that episode. Suspect is the most effective weapon. It might finish Adam before he finishes the King. And he can’t have that. For his mother. He has to bear this. 

Uriel raises his hand again and Adam screws his eyes shut. The second slap never lands. Zachariah is behind the other man having caught his hand midair. “Uriel, enough. That one should be resting. He will be punished later.” With that, Zachariah shoos the other man out of the infirmary and closes the door. Adam straightens his spine and looks at him, forcing his face to be neutral. Zachariah comes to the cot and sits himself down. Then with a finger under Adam’s chin he brings his face closer, seeming to try to take in every little detail about Adam. He puts a finger in Adam’s collar and looks, he checks Adam’s hands before finally leaning away. “Listen here boy. The King doesn’t concern himself with his harem. He doesn’t want any of what is presented to him. Yet today, I saw a look in his eye that told me he was intrigued for the first time ever. I have known him since he was a child. I knew his mother. I was an ordinary eunuch then. I helped her rise, she helped me gain power. By her last days, she was a Queen. This is how things work in the palace. If the King likes you, you will be a Consort. If you are clever, if you manage to get in his heart along with his bed, you will be a King. Remember what I told you all on your first day here. If you do that, if you succeed, you will rule the world.” 

Zachariah looks Adam dead in the eye, still holding his chin. “ _ I know what you did today _ . I implied, I would punish you and saw how the King reacted. You are indeed clever and very lucky that the King leans towards men more than women. You have the wits, you have the looks. I will give you a chance. If you manage, I will be the brass for you. If the King calls for you a second time after I send you to him, I will help you. And don’t ask, every one of us have a Consort we support here. The one who is closest to the strongest gets the control of the harem. It’s how the system is. Tomorrow night, you are going to the King. Don’t disappoint me boy.” 

_ That _ is more than Adam could ever hope for. Even he didn’t expect for his plan to go this well. Yet it is a gift horse, better not look at it in the mouth. It’s not like he will stay in the palace all his life anyway. Just until the King dies. Just until he finishes his job. So Adam nods. This man before him is greedy. Proud and avid too. If he plays his cards right, Adam can use him. He can make the King trust him faster. He can secure his escape route with the connections Zachariah can get him in the palace. 

* * *

Michael stands in front of the slave who keeps his head bowed but glances up at him when he thinks Michael isn’t looking at his face. It is the same one from yesterday. Michael remembers how his thin frame trembled in his arms and how the rapid, hot breaths tickled his own face. He remembers the wide blue eyes searching his face and the red cheeks and lips. “What is your name?” He decides to ask. Referring to him as the slave is quickly getting tiring. 

“Adam, sir.” The younger man raises his head without waiting for Michael’s permission and smiles brightly. Michael turns a blind eye to the move and looks Adam up and down once more. He is wearing red robes with deep slits on the sides showing his legs and ankles adorned with golden chains and bangles. His blonde hair is styled combed to one side. He wears a bit of foundation and probably his lips have been colored too. There is no single thing Michael doesn’t like. 

Suddenly, Adam bites his lip and flutters his lashes. He sways a little again and Michael immediately steadies him with an arm around his waist and a hand on his shoulder. “Adam-” He starts and the boy mumbles a shy apology. “I am just- being with you here- Feel for yourself.” Adam boldly takes Michael’s hands on his shoulder in both of his to place it on his own chest inside the deep neckline of his garments. Michael feels his hot, soft skin under his hand and can’t help but to smile at the racing heart under his fingers. No one has ever been that excited to be with him. No slave has ever made him smile genuinely only with their own happiness. 

* * *

“-And then Zachariah shouted for ten minutes and no less.” Michael snorts as the young man makes an almost perfect imitation of the old eunuch’s voice scolding the slaves. Servant gossip has never been an interest of his. But Adam makes it sound so amusing that Michael can’t help but to listen and let himself chuckle where he sits sprawled on the bed shirtless and sips his wine. Adam came in the evening. Michael told him to stay and eat with him once dinner arrived. Now it’s late into the night and Michael is actually having fun watching this slave who laughs himself at his every tale. 

“He said, our hips are supposed to be like cannonballs strongly  _ fired out _ . And we have to move like snakes. Then he demonstrated that dance. Like this-” Adam shows a personal version of one of the classic oriental dances all the slaves are taught so atrocious that Michael actually has to look away to clear the image of the Head Eunuch doing that from his mind. “-Can you believe it? I couldn’t.” Once again Adam lets out that shrill laughter of his and Michael unconsciously joins him. Michael has never seen anything like this. Since he entered this bedroom, this one slave has been taking the lead.  _ He _ removed Michael’s clothes before his own.  _ He _ pushed Michael on the bed and climbed on top of him and did all the work telling Michael to just relax and feel it.  _ H _ e cleaned both of them afterwards.  _ He _ fed Michael some of everything he tasted himself. Now  _ he  _ is the one who entertains Michael like this. It is truly… different. Usually the slaves come, Michael does what’s necessary and allows them time to make themselves presentable before throwing them out of the room. With Adam, he didn’t even understand how time passed. It has been long, very long since he last laughed this much. He doesn’t even remember it. 

They join on the bed once again after the younger man finally deems it enough for tale time. Michael eagerly wraps his arms around Adam. “How bland and joyless my life was, I just noticed this evening. Just where have you appeared from? Where were you all this time?” Adam smiles and snuggles close. “I was finding my way to you. Hold me close.” Michael presses a kiss on the slave’s head and complies. 

This is the first time since his childhood that he will share his bed with someone and not wake up alone. 

* * *

“Look at the little doll. Just because the King kept him overnight, he is all above us now.” Adam doesn’t pay any mind to the mocking words or the laughter around the quarters. Instead, he focuses on his task to dust the several vases as a few other slaves clean the shelves and cupboards. He doesn’t blame them. They are mindless beings, belongings of someone else now. The King is their only way out. It is normal that he faces jealousy now. 

“Now, are you deaf too, Adam? We already know your lovesick little heart is weak. Are you going to faint again at the mention of the King? Is that why you aren’t listening?” One again, laughter echoes all around. Adam only shakes his head.  _ As if. _ He only has to do this for a limited time. Michael is already infatuated with him. It won’t be long now before Adam gets him. Then he will be out of this hellhole and back with his mother. She will finally get what she deserves. She will be treated properly and live the rest of her days as a noblewoman. Adam is doing this only for her.  _ They promised. _ Once Michael is gone, everything will be different. 

One of the other slaves makes another sarcastic remark and Adam is just about to turn and glare at her. Before he gets the chance, Zachariah appears and silences everyone. “Well, the owner of the weak lovesick heart is above you from this day on. You will know your place.-” He points his fingers at the men and women who were having way too much fun. Adam drops the dust cloth and looks at the Head Eunuch questioningly. “-Adam is promoted to Consort as of now.” Adam’s own eyes widen along with everyone else’s. He didn’t expect that. Not this soon. 

Zachariah hands him a large pouch of gold along with a small box. Inside, Adam finds a silver bracelet. As he looks at all the money and the stones on the bracelet, Zachariah has a large chest brought. It is filled with expensive cloths, more jewelry and a dozen small things.  _ A small gift from the King in thanks of your company. _ The words only work to stun Adam further. 

* * *

That night, alone in his new room after giving half of his gold to Zachariah who settled him there, Adam lies awake on the bed. He is officially a Consort now. On his tenth day in the palace. The spies must be on the way with the news to  _ them _ . His mother will certainly be looked after with more care now that Adam has actually accomplished something. The plan is moving forward. Soon, he will be done here. 

The thought gives him anticipation and another dark feeling creeping in his heart. He is closing on Michael.

Yet tonight, rather than the rest of the plan he must plot carefully, he is mostly thinking of that tale whispered in his ear of a boy who lost his mother, whose brother turned against him and who lost his father because of that. He remembers the exact words describing that lonely boy and the arms wrapped almost too tightly around his naked body as if Adam would vanish into the night and leave  _ him _ alone. As if that was his greatest fear. 

It doesn’t  _ shouldn’t _ concern Adam though. 

Soon, he will kill Michael.


	2. Chapter 2

Adam forces himself to remember and think about why he is doing this every day now. It has been six weeks since he was first brought to the palace, more than a month since he was promoted to Consort. He has spent every day with Michael since. And he can’t afford to hesitate. With each passing day, he loses a small part of him. He thinks of his mother, wonders about her wellbeing and sheds silent tears into his pillow on the rare occasion that he sleeps in his own room. Michael was smitten from day one. Adam enters his chambers as he pleases. Differing from the ordinary slaves in the harem, he is allowed outside at the courtyard too. So why aren’t the spies among the guards approaching him when he purposefully takes long strolls alone making sure to cover almost all of the courtyard? Why isn’t anyone telling him to act? Why isn’t his escape route explained to him yet? Why is he waiting still?  _ Are they hesitating? _

No. 

It can’t be. Lucifer isn’t the kind to just give up or even stall when he has the means to slit his victim’s throat. He wouldn’t pity his older brother he hates that much. He has his loyalists, nobles and soldiers to have his back too. So why? Or does the issue lie with Dean and Sam? Did something happen that Adam wasn’t notified of? 

He prays for the contrary. Because if that’s the case, Adam doesn’t even want to think about what will happen to his mom or him. He called the eunuchs and the servants pawns on his first day here. Yet he is a small pawn himself. He isn’t even one of the big players of this game. Michael is the one who ruined his and his mom’s lives when they had a chance for the first time for something better. So part of this is personal vendetta. But a tiny, little part. The main reason is his mom. She has no one other than Adam. And Adam can do nothing else to help her now. He forces himself to remember and renews his resolve. He will finish his job. For his mom. 

“You are far away again, Adam. What are you thinking about?-” Michael’s voice wakes Adam from his thoughts. He looks up at the other man from where he lies with his head on Michael’s bare chest and a thick arm around his shoulders. Michael leans down with a small smile to press his lips against Adam’s forehead. He stays there for a long time. Adam bites his lip to stay still and calm. He shouldn’t give in to the storm of thoughts in his head. Not yet. Not until his order comes with his and his mom’s guaranteed safety afterwards. He still has time to wait. “-You got this look on your face… Are you missing someone?” Michael caresses his hair with one hand and pulls Adam even closer with the one around his shoulders. Adam lets out a slow breath. This is what he hates the most about his duty here. He can bear the touches and kisses. He can lie back, hold this man and moan as if he really wants and enjoys sharing his bed. He has long learned to accept a stranger’s unwanted lust and even act pleased in the life he spent back at that manor. It was his only chance, to be silent, to not object to those men or him and his mom would get thrown out into the streets. So Adam has no issue with that part no, what bothers him is the talking. Michael asks questions like this and tells parts of his own life. He won’t back away unless Adam gives him what he wants. There is this ridiculous idea in the young King’s head that Adam’s life full of pain needs to be shared with someone who values Adam. He thinks he can ease Adam’s suffering. As if he isn’t the sole reason Adam lost the only opportunity to get out of all the dirt and mud with his only parent. 

“My mom.” Adam makes sure to put an edge to his voice, to snuggle closer to Michael’s warmth and to let his eyes fill with tears. Crying like this is easy for him. He has a lot to cry about. He only needs to stop holding himself back and putting on a brave façade. He will make use of this moment too. He knows Michael likes to feel mighty and strong. He knows a vulnerable Consort, seeking comfort in him will please the man. Adam is a hunter. Michael’s heart is about to fall into the net. The more Michael gets attached, the better. Adam can’t afford to have Michael lose interest. As long as he performs well, his prey won’t push him away and make his job harder. Michael will continue having him in his bedroom almost every night, giving him more money and expensive gifts than Adam ever saw in his life and Adam will continue bribing Zachariah along with some other servants to help him stay without a rival. Those two other Consorts, Hannah and Castiel, are useless. Nice people, peaceful spirits, but useless anyway. Michael never sees them. Their existence is nearly forgotten in the Consort chambers all the slaves in the harem dream of. And they find what they lack in each other. Adam saw it only once. He promised to never tell anyone if the two other Consorts promised to keep as they are and forget all hopes with the King just to play the part of a little slave falling for his owner. The two were more than eager to agree. Adam wonders sometimes, does Michael know that his two other Consorts are sleeping with each other?

“Want to talk about it? Her? How you ended up here? I will listen.” Two more kisses land this time on Adam’s cheek then his lips. Sweet, chaste pecks so different than the heated, hungry making out Adam is used to. Michael is almost always like this. Adam doesn’t know what to make of it. The King with a thousand wives and a thousand husbands can’t be an innocent virgin after all. 

“My mother was a maid in a nobleman’s house.-” Adam decides to start. He will give Michael something. Something to believe. Something to want to protect Adam from. “-My father was that nobleman. Everyone in the house knew that. Yet they all turned a blind eye. Because he was married. He had a beautiful wife with two sons both older than me. I grew up serving my own brothers. The younger one tried to play with me sometimes. His mother would always drag him away and mine would get scolded for letting ‘her bastard’ near the young masters.” Michael starts carding his fingers through Adam’s dark blonde strands, probably thinking that action is soothing. To Adam, it’s only another way he is defiled. 

“We used to live in a small room on the lowest floor. It was more like a basement with tiny windows that didn’t even have any glass and simple wooden frames only. It was always dark, always filled with bugs and rats, always cold… We never had enough firewood. The house’s stock was closed to us like most other things. They didn’t pay my mom enough to buy all our necessities too. The Lady thought it was enough generosity to let us under a roof. The little wage mom made was either spent on food or something to burn in the old fireplace in our room. We couldn’t be full and warm at the same time. She almost always chose food and wrapped everything we had around me to keep me warm. Only when I was sick did she choose to light a fire. Even then, she would always find something to feed me either by boiling herbs or accepting the stale bread the cook secretly brought us. In the end, she got sick herself.” 

He hears Michael sighing just above his head. “Did she…” Michael trails off and Adam quickly shakes his head. “She is alive. I accepted this for her. I came to the palace so she can get treated.” Adam decides to finish his tale there. It’s all true and as far as he can reveal to Michael. Best way to deceive someone is to tell the truth. But being too honest may jeopardize everything now. He takes a deep breath to get rid of the knot in his throat but doesn’t wipe away the tears. He will let them stay there to fool the other man a little longer. 

“How is she faring now? I mean, how was she the last time you saw her? The moment you accepted to be enslaved, you must have lost all contact. I am sorry, Adam.”  _ Sorry. _ Adam wants to laugh at that. As if a single sorry can fix everything… As if Michael really means it… As if he knows what he really owes Adam an apology for… He clenches his teeth to maintain his act. 

“She was as good as she could be. A physician had started to see her with what I was worth. They told me it was quite much, enough to pay for her treatment and get her a little room somewhere. After that, she can get into another household and look after herself just fine without the additional mouth to feed. She thinks I am working in another town and sending her money. I guess they will tell her what really happened at some point.” At that, Michael sighs again making Adam close his eyes to not roll them. They stay like that for the rest of the night. Michael falls asleep before long. Another night of watching the ceiling and drifting off for an hour at most once exhaustion wins it will be.

* * *

Adam holds out another pouch filled with gold coins and waits patiently as Zachariah checks out the contents. They are in Adam’s room. Yet they don’t have much time. The Consort chambers have several small bedrooms that open to the same main chamber. Castiel, Hannah or the slaves who clean up might be around, just outside the door even. Even though Zachariah is the Head Eunuch, he still has supervisors. Conspiring like this with a Consort is still blatant dangerous. “I need your help again. I have a plan.” Adam says at last. Zachariah raises an eyebrow but makes no movement to give the gold back.

“What do you even need a plan for, boy? You are already a Consort. You are with the King every day and almost every night.” Adam scoffs at the man and walks closer. Of course Zachariah can’t understand. Even if he sees Adam as this lowly slave who wants the King and the power his attention would bring along, he just can’t. He is a man whose chances at such affairs were ripped from him back in his very childhood. He is also a slave, one that is tasked to manage the King’s harem without any experience of love and desire himself. Adam will have to pretend to be just the man Zachariah thinks he is while spelling everything out for the older man. 

“It is easy to get in the King’s bedroom Zachariah. But the thing is: I want to own that room. The King needs to be nudged in the right direction a little to be more possessive of me. He needs to live through the fear of losing me. He needs to know that someone dared to touch and hurt what’s his. He needs to feel that wrath then realize it was all for me. I am just plotting a little something to give him a bit of a scare and a lot of anger in his desire to keep what belongs to him safe.” Adam crosses his arms over his chest, waiting for it to drop in the other man’s head and for him to consider Adam’s words. 

“What do you have in your mind?” Zachariah asks with a loud exhale. It’s clear that the older man doesn’t see eye to eye with Adam but just the thought of all the profit he will make if Adam’s plan works is enough to motivate him. Adam isn’t going to ask anything dangerous of him anyway. He just wants Zachariah to do his duty. He even picked out the perfect slave for the eunuch. 

* * *

“Naomi, get ready. Tonight the King will see you.” Zachariah tells the surprised woman to immediately leave his work and go take a bath. Adam watches it all from the entresol where the Consort chambers’s entrance is. A few faces tilt upwards to see how he reacts. Some wait for him to run and lock himself in his room thinking Adam is actually in love. Some are obviously aware that Adam is more clever than that. They will all be watching tonight. Good. Just as Adam planned. Zachariah too looks up and Adam calmly walks to his room. Castiel and Hannah are in the main chamber getting ready to go out to the courtyard for a walk together. They look at him weirdly as Adam passes without greeting them. He has to play the part of an honored lover who is too regal to cry and tear himself apart but obviously angered by the turn of events. Later, after everything is over, Michael will hear when he questions everyone that Adam was clearly distraught, not talking, not eating but not reacting violently to the terrible news of someone else readying herself to bed his lover.  _ Good _ . 

A hesitant knock on his door after a few minutes is another small victory and a compliment to his acting skills. Adam has learned to keep his emotions in check and to act convincingly with the unfair childhood he had. He only gives himself a mental smile of congratulations. Hannah enters without waiting too long when she doesn’t hear either an approval or an objection to her presence. She nervously looks at Adam for a second where she stands right inside the threshold then walks to sit herself on the side of the bed next to Adam. Clearly, the other slaves are already talking downstairs. Hannah is a kind woman. She is here to console Adam. 

“Please don’t be sad, Adam. It’s just how things are here. We are slaves. Our only escape from the hell downstairs is the King. We have to bed him no matter how we feel about him and give him children if possible to be treated as human beings. Listen, I was first brought to the palace at the age fourteen during the previous King’s reign. Our current King was twelve years old then. For years, I watched the same thing happen. I am lucky I was never chosen for him. Had I become his once, I would have been married off to a random man or thrown out of the harem in another equally cruel way as I would be useless to his son as many men and women were. Now I am here, I was sent to the King just once and he promoted me as he did Castiel because he didn’t want to hear his advisors pushing him on that matter. You already know how the two of us cope with being old toys that were thrown away.” 

Just as Adam guessed. Once again, he was right. So Adam focuses on the task at hand anew and stubbornly stays silent and stoic. As one of his roommates, Hannah will be one of the first Michael will call to his presence to listen to her account. “Adam, I know it must have been great. You must have felt special. You are very young. I am thirty years old, you are not even twenty. It must have made you dream of things. But this is life for us slaves. Even if you had made the King fall for you, he is still the King. One day he will need to produce an heir. For that… It’s way better for it to happen as soon as possible. I have never seen the King liking anyone as much as he did you though. You will still see him. Just, not tonight. Don’t think about that, alright darling? Come outside with us, take a dip in the spring maybe, turn in early and rest your mind with something from the library… Just, don’t let yourself fall apart.” The woman catches Adam’s hand on his lap and gives it a strong squeeze. Adam keeps his eyes on the wall ahead. Hannah waits for a few minutes, closely observing his expression. In the end, she rises from her place to leave Adam to rest, as she says. 

After the door closes, Adam drops to lie on his side. He isn’t eating today anyway. It is better to preserve his energy for what’s to come. He will need every fragment of it. There was a reason he chose Naomi for this. The woman is vicious. She dreams of being a Queen, openly talks about that all the time. She is ambitious and willing to do anything to get what she wants. She is also a strong woman with a sturdy build. It’s no doubt that she will turn blind with rage tonight when her dream is torn away from her hands and she fully believes Adam to be the culprit. 

* * *

Michael checks the dinner table quickly. The roast Adam likes and his favorite dessert are prepared in accord with his command just waiting to be served. Tonight, he plans to take Adam stargazing after eating together. They may even stay in a tent in the forest until morning. He knows the younger man likes to take walks outside. He seems to do that in his free hours a lot. They will certainly have a good time together. Michael wants that a little too much maybe. Especially when he remembers the other night. How Adam had cried thinking of the family he left behind… How bitter his tale was… The young slave has a heart of gold, strong and brave enough to face this new life just to save his mother yet innocent and in need of love enough to cling to Michael like that in a moment that fragile. Michael wants him to be happy. 

He remembers their first night together spent chatting and laughing then holding each other. Adam is always like that, greeting Michael with sparkling eyes and a racing heart still as excited as the first day to be with him and finding a new way to make him smile every time. Of course the other parts of the nights are always awesome too. Michael has never felt that much pleasure with anyone, has never wanted anyone that bad. Adam is just…  _ something else _ . With his everything. And with Adam, Michael wants everything. He is aware that he is losing himself to the charm way too quickly but he can’t help it. He loves every minute spent with Adam by his side. He loves talking to Adam, holding Adam, laughing with Adam and every single thing he can think of that they ever did together. Michael smiles as he lets himself remember it all.

Soon the doors are knocked outside and Michael eagerly calls out for his guest to enter. He hears light footsteps behind him and turns around to face his Consort. 

It’s not Adam. Instead, a young woman dressed in red stands in the middle of the room bowing. Michael is confused for a moment. Why is a random slave here when he was waiting for Adam? Sure, he didn’t especially call for Adam tonight but he never does anyway. Zachariah knows to bring Adam and no one else. Michael never told him to send him a woman. No matter how much the Court insists, he doesn’t have an intention to try for an heir just yet. He never even sat and thought about it. Always, his mind drifted to Adam and how much of a pity it was that they couldn’t have a child together. So Michael kept postponing the issue and never said anything to anyone. Why would Zachariah do this? Did one of his advisors speak with the eunuch? 

“Who are you? Where is Adam?” Michael asks without stepping any closer to the young woman. She flinches probably at Michael’s tone and answers without raising her head. “My name is Naomi, Your Highness. I am here for you.” Michael furrows his brows and yells at the guards for them to open the door. The woman sneaks a glance but stays in the exact same position. Michael only scoffs.

“Leave. Go back to the harem. Tell Zachariah I want to see Adam.-” The woman finally raises her head with panic in her wide eyes. It only makes Michael madder. “- _ Go. _ ” He doesn’t care how sharp his voice is. He doesn’t care what will happen once this slave returns to the harem and likely causes a commotion. There is only one question in his head. How could Zachariah dare? Michael is the King. And only he can decide whether he wants an heir or not. No one can place an ultimatum on him like this. Especially not an ordinary eunuch. And God knows how Adam felt when he heard this woman getting ready to come here? God knows what he thought? Michael feels cold fury somehow burning him from the inside. He will do whatever Adam asks of him tonight, just to make up for this nonsense. He just can’t bear the image in his mind of Adam that sad like the other night when he remembered his mother. 

* * *

Adam stands in a dark corner of the side hall the slaves use. As Zachariah promised, the two guards that should have been posted here are gone. His plan is going flawlessly. He stands far enough from the harem quarters for no one to see but close enough that his screams will make their way echoing down to there and dozens of people will run here at once. Of course it will be too late by then. 

In a few minutes only, Adam hears the stomping of high heeled shoes from the other end of the hall and gets himself ready. As soon as Naomi turns the corner, Adam jumps out in front of her. “Returning with your tail between your legs, I see? What happened? Did Michael tell you he wants  _ me _ ? Did he tell you how he promised to never touch anyone other than me?-” The woman stops with a start then clenches her fists. Adam sees tears on her red face with her makeup ruined and her hair messy likely from pulling it herself in her anger. He makes sure to let out the most taunting laugh he can manage. “-Poor thing, you will wither between the four walls of the harem without even being allowed out in the garden like all the others. You will never reach your dreams. You were going to become a Queen, you said, didn’t you? Well, looks to me like you will be serving me once _ I _ am a King.” Again, he laughs as Naomi’s face gets redder at each word. 

The first slap to his cheek comes just like he expected, hard and strong enough to no doubt leave a big bruise. Naomi pushes him against the wall, making him hit his head and knocking the breath out of his lungs. The punches, claws and threats break free as if the other slave loses all her sanity at an instant and becomes a wild beast. Adam holds himself back as much as he can bear before starting to shout for help and sobbing. Naomi breaks out of the hysteria only when she hears the many pairs of thunderous footsteps. 

* * *

“We are deeply sorry, sire. Adam apologized but he won’t see you tonight.” The eunuch bows more to escape from Michael’s gaze than out of respect. Michael notices at the first look that something is off with the older man. His clothes are wrinkled and his hands are purposefully hidden in his sleeves. He also looks nervous and disheveled all over. He is hiding something, that much is clear. 

“Zachariah,  _ where. is. my. Consort?  _ What does it mean he won’t see me? What are you not telling your King?-” The man doesn’t make any move, doesn’t say anything. He is about to become Michael’s training dummy for sword practise. As Michael said out loud too. Why isn’t he  _ still _ talking? What is he hiding? “-If I find out on my own, I will chop all of you eunuchs up and make you food for my hunting dogs. Now talk, where is Adam?” By the end, Michael is shouting. Yet it’s still silence he gets. 

With a sudden decision, he bolts out banging the doors and marches to the harem quarters. Tonight, something is going on. Michael will have to find out on his own. 

* * *

Adam makes himself sob harder once he hears Michael’s shouting downstairs and the panicked servants trying to stop the King from entering the Consort chambers. The door to his room bursts open before long. Both Castiel who was helping the physician clean Adam’s face and Hannah who was holding Adam’s hands bolt up on their feet to bow. The physician drops the washcloth in her hand and follows the two other Consorts’ examples. Adam doesn’t lift his head, in fact he decides to throw in a little more spice and covers his face with his palms pretending to try to hold back his sobs. He hears Michael gasp. The room is silent after that other than his own whimpers. 

“Adam,” Michael starts with a tone broken. “what happened- What- Who did this to you?” The King falls to his knees before where Adam sits and gently reaches out to pry Adam’s hands away from his bruised and bloody face. Adam struggles for a few seconds but relents without too much resisting. Michael looks first at Adam’s palms that came back with spots of red then lifts his eyes. Adam sees how the green eyes widen and how those soft lips that couldn’t seem to stay away from his own in their every hour together part and tremble as if wanting to say something but not managing it. 

“Don’t look at me.  _ Please _ .” Adam doesn’t even have to force his voice to get the hoarse whisper he wanted. Michael swallows thickly and caresses Adam’s left cheek that doesn’t have any visible injury. There is sorrow in his eyes but Adam sees fury beyond it. Like a storm that is closing in through the clouds on the horizon, Michael’s anger resurfaces in the next few minutes. Adam keeps his head down and his arms curled around himself playing the scared victim of something terrible who also feels ashamed somehow. Every time Michael glances at him, his voice gets higher. Just as Adam wanted.

* * *

Michael sits awake that night. No matter how much he tries, he can’t force his mind to still and rest. Adam sleeps soundlessly next to him as Michael keeps watch. He will never let anything like this happen again.  _ Never. _ He will never allow any of those people close to Adam again. How dare they?  _ How could they? _ How could anyone possibly want to harm this one young man so beautiful and so loving? How could anyone ever will themselves to put a hand on him? There are days Michael scolds himself for not being gentle enough in bed, for holding Adam too tight, for staring too long at his sleeping face. How could they let something like this happen? 

Michael wanted to kill both that woman and Zachariah on the spot. He was about to order the guards to drag them on their knees to the throne room. He was going to have his best sword brought out. He was going to find those two guards who abandoned their posts and- But then Adam held his hand and pleaded him to stay. So Michael pushed all the thoughts to the back of his mind and simply picked his Consort up to carry him here with the physician trailing behind. Later, Adam told Michael about how he was going out for a walk to ease his troubled mind when he saw Naomi returning with tears. All at once, he had found himself pushed up against the wall getting beaten. Zachariah had been the one to run first and save Adam’s life. Apparently, another slave had fallen down as he carried freshly washed linens to the harem and the two guards were helping him inside as he hurt his ankle. Adam pleaded Michael to refrain from punishing anyone for his sake, especially the eunuch who saved him. So Michael only ordered that Naomi be put in the dungeon and personally helped the physician to make Adam comfortable. The young man will stay in the King chambers until he is completely healed. Michael will assign him a personal guard afterwards, one of the older slaves will be chosen to do his small work and keep him company at all times too. Michael will make sure something like this doesn’t happen again. He swears to himself in God’s name.

* * *

Days pass slowly. 

In his second week living in Michael’s bedroom, Adam’s bruises fade almost completely. The smaller scraps from Naomi’s nails have disappeared completely. Only a few deeper ones are visible to the eye now. Finally, Adam is allowed out of bed. Actually, the physician had long given the okay some time around his third day but Michael didn’t relent. He wanted Adam to take it easy and rest until he physically looked better and Michael could be sure that he wouldn’t fall somewhere. Zachariah has been coming by every day while Michael is occupied elsewhere to give Adam bits of information on the latest happenings in the harem. A little gold in the man’s palm made sure Adam would know everything. 

All the slaves are still talking about the incident as Zachariah gathered. There are some believing Adam is pretending to be in worse shape than he is to make the King keep him with himself longer. There are others who think Naomi really did a number and are waiting for an execution to be announced. Also, some servants and eunuchs along with a few slaves have been asking about Adam’s wellbeing and his return to the Consort chambers. Some want to get on his good side, Zachariah says and advises Adam to give a chance to the cleverer ones in case he needs a few favors in the future. Mostly, the slaves are concerned for themselves though. As long as Adam is with Michael, the young King won’t look at anyone else. They are afraid Adam will steal Michael completely. Adam only chuckles at that. He  _ will _ steal Michael. But not like that. Soon. He feels it is soon. 

* * *

“My mother passed away when I was a toddler. I never had the chance to know her other than from her portraits that were left hung in forgotten corners of the palace once the other Queen arrived. My father waited two years before remarrying and another one before trying for a child. My brother was five years younger than me. There were two younger ones too but they didn’t live to see their fifteenth years. It was an accident. Their tires broke and the carriage that had them was flung out of the road even pulling the two horses with it. When the soldiers found them, there was nothing to do other than ending the poor animals’ suffering and getting my brothers out. The funeral was the day their mother lost her mind with grief. My younger brother spent years trying to heal her. In the end, she ended her own life hanging herself with her bedsheets. Lucifer blamed our father for not protecting Raphael and Gabriel first and staying impassive on the time of his wife’s greatest need after that. And you must have heard what happened.”

Michael stops talking there to take a few deep breaths and bury his nose in Adam’s hair. Adam simply lies in his arms and listens to the tale. It is one of those nights when the young King wanted to chat and pour his heart out rather than doing anything else. In the last two weeks, Adam acted as if he hated his face and thought himself too ugly to be touched by the King. He knew Michael wouldn’t get too close to him with Adam looking like that. He was wrong. Whenever Adam mumbled something along those lines, Michael kissed him deeply and helped him out of his nightclothes. The first couple of times, Adam was way too surprised and trying to be sure if Michael lost his mind or something. Then, he got used to the even gentler touch and the butterfly kisses all over his face, on every wound. Michael wanted him to know Adam was gorgeous, the most beautiful being he ever laid eyes upon and he could never think Adam was less than that. Honestly, Adam had been too confused to make anything of it. Just, he had found himself weakly returning Michael’s smile without having to will himself to. Maybe he was getting too much in character. 

“When it was understood that my brother had ordered the archer whose poisonous arrow found father that day, he escaped with a few of his supporters. It was reckless of him beyond anything else, Adam. The throne is way too strong for a disgraced Prince to conquer with what little force he has. To tell the truth, I still love him. I half raised him and I don’t ever want to execute my own brother. Still, if we are to come against each other when he is finally found, I will have to do my duty. It scares me, Adam. I never confessed this before to anyone else but it does. Because then, I will be left truly alone. I was feeling so ever since I got coronated. Your presence is the only thing easing that despair. I love you, Adam.”

Time to be in character again, Adam thinks to himself and tilts his head up to kiss the corner of Michael’s lips. The older man smiles then deepens it. Adam tastes the salt from a single tear along with Michael himself. 

He knows this story already. He knows what Lucifer did, why he did it. In the last few years, Adam has heard it all straight from the man. He knows how the two younger Princes, Michael’s half brothers and Lucifer’s brothers died tragically. He knows how the King never cared about the two boys and their big brother to pour all his attention on his perfect, loyal son. He knows how the two young Princes’ party didn’t even include more than the two guards who were also in the carriage with them that day. The horses were old and very tired since the party decided to keep moving in the night to reach the palace earlier. The roads were dark and rocky. As Lucifer said, it was the lack of care that killed his brothers. Then the Queen had lost herself in her grief only to be locked in a manor in the woods by her husband who immediately chose a new Consort and kept on with his life. He knows how it was the last straw for Lucifer when his mother died too. He knows how Lucifer decided to destroy the man that was his supposed father and claim the throne. He knows how a spy that couldn’t be traced back to Lucifer was needed. Lastly, Adam knows, remembers every word to the promise of his mom’s prosperity that was torn away from them because of Michael. 

He remembers how Lucifer told him about the job and Sam gave him his ‘hate to ask this of you but it’s for the greater good’ talk where he sat next to his lover who he helped hide all that time. Adam only accepted it after a night nursing his mom during one of her coughing fits.  _ He will do this for her. _

Michael buries his face in Adam’s neck and clings to him. Adam rubs circles on his back with one hand while humming a random melody he heard from one of the slave girls until Michael sleeps.

* * *

In his third week after moving to Michael’s chambers, Adam finally goes out to the Courtyard for one of his usual walks. Michael is in a meeting. His condition was for Adam to have Castiel and Hannah accompany him. And Adam had to reluctantly agree. He is sure Lucifer knows Adam is the closest to Michael now. He will be done before the next month, if he guesses right. 

As the three of them walk around, Adam pays attention to every small thing happening close by. Thus he isn’t late to realize that the guard following them is one he never saw before and that the man keeps trying to get close to Adam. He tests it by switching sides and wandering to pick a flower which he hands to Hannah later. After half an hour, they come to a rather secluded part. Adam smiles at the man and woman telling them he will be picking flowers for Michael pretending he does it to give them privacy. 

When he purposefully drops a red rose, the guard hands it back with a small piece of paper rolled around the stem. Adam hurries to put it in his pocket then returns inside. He throws the paper in the fireplace immediately before starting to arrange his flowers. His instructions were simple. 

_ At the fountain, behind the brick second from the left side on the third highest row.  _

He will find whatever he needs there.

* * *

It is a day later in the late evening when Adam manages to go to the big fountain in the courtyard and retrieve the small pouch left for him. Inside, he finds a ring with a fairly large red stone and a folded paper. 

__ _ I congratulate you for your success so far. Indeed, you are as clever and talented as my dear Sam claimed. You managed to rise up in ranks faster than we all expected. You even managed to gain easy access to the King’s chambers. Now I finally finished planting the few other spies and readying my soldiers. I am a man of my word, Adam. You know I don’t lie. Your mother is being taken care of well. She is here with me. Remember why you are doing this and stay strong. The stone of that ring can be opened like a lid. Inside, you will find your weapon. Mix it in the King’s goblet and make sure he takes at least a few sips. It will be fast and mostly silent but efficient. In the King’s study, behind the portrait of the previous King and the late Queen, you will find the wall slides open. The passage there opens to the courtyard close to the back gate. A guard will be waiting for you every night. You will act as if you are out on a stroll. A carriage will pick you up after the guard sneaks you outside in a spare uniform. Then it will be all over. Once the King passes, I will be the only one qualified for the throne. And you will be a nobleman with a whole fortune and estate just for you and your mother. Remember her. I trust you.  _

Despite how he feels, Adam can’t deny a shudder that goes down his spine. So it will be that simple. This small ring in his palm is everything he needs. He will just make Michael drink some wine with him maybe and it will be all over. His and his mom’s lives will be saved. They will never be cold nor hungry again. She will have a warm and soft bed. She will never do chores again. She will never be shamed or outcasted again. She will live a happy life from now on. And Michael is the one who arrested and executed John Winchester just when he had decided to marry her after his first wife’s death. His mother could have had all these back then. Adam wouldn’t have to do this. It’s Michael’s own fault that it will happen. 

Michael deserves this, Adam tells himself as he burns the paper with his torch then slides the ring on his finger. 

It is all for his mom. 

* * *

Two whole days pass with Adam waiting for the perfect opportunity. 

He isn’t himself lately. His hands shake, his head spins and he becomes silent. He is angry at himself for that. He is at the fish’s tail now. It is about to be finished. Everything depends on him. Michael trusts him. He has the poison. He has the escape plan. It will be easy. 

_ Get chosen to be accepted into the King’s harem _ . Adam did. He was accepted that first day with no issue. He adapted quickly and made no trouble too.  _ Make the King notice you somehow and get into his bed. _ He did. He threw himself in Michael’s arms. Michael was immediately captivated.  _ Get promoted to a Consort. _ Right after his first night with Michael too. Adam showed him every number he learned from all the filthy men working at that house who threatened him with blaming him for theft if he refused to pleasure them. He was right on his observation that Michael was alone and suffocating. Adam made him laugh. He made Michael just lie back and rest. He held Michael who was tired of sleeping on his own. And instantly, he became a Consort. Now...

_ Kill the King. _

It is the only thing Adam has to do. It won’t be hard. Adam won’t even physically fight with Michael. He only needs to make use of Lucifer’s gift to him. It’s going to be easy. 

He puts on the red outfit Michael first saw him in after the time Adam fainted in his arms and was sent to his bedroom. He takes deep breaths and looks at his reflection. Just like that first night, he looks perfect. The ring matches with the outfit and blends in so well, even Adam himself won’t notice it. 

The way to Michael’s chambers seems long tonight. Adam specially asked permission to prepare tonight. He wants to feel beautiful, he said. Michael sent him off with a soft smile. Now, as the double doors open for him, Adam feels his knees trembling. This is it. He is really going to do it. Michael will be gone soon. The King with a thousand wives and a thousand husbands will die tonight. Killed by his Consort. What poetic justice. 

Michael takes a second to take in Adam’s appearance then pulls him close. Adam slides his arms around Michael’s neck and kisses him so hard Michael actually stumbles a step back. Quickly, he picks Adam up and carries him to bed. Adam finds himself thrown over the sheets, pulling Michael down with their lips still locked. He moans loudly when Michael’s tongue breaches his mouth and wraps his legs around Michael’s waist. 

“Adam what is up with you tonight?” Michael asks panting once they let a few inches between their faces for air. Adam looks right into Michael’s eyes. He can’t afford to have him suspect something at the last minute. He can’t be found out. He is doing this for his mom. So she doesn’t die of that illness. So she never suffers again. For her.  _ For his mom. _

“I am just excited, I guess. I wanted to wear this for you, to look good for you. It has been days since last time. I missed you. And I want tonight to be memorable.” Before Michael can answer, Adam covers his lips with his own again. He needs to make this as good as he can. Tire Michael out and later fetch them both drinks. He needs to distract Michael so the older man doesn’t notice Adam fiddling with his ring. He needs to use all of his numbers now. 

Michael groans low into Adam’s mouth. Adam doesn’t wait. He pushes Michael on his back and climbs over undoing the buttons and laces in both of their clothes. Before long, they are joined, almost one as they grind together. Tonight, it is really something else. Michael flips their positions and lets himself go like Adam never saw before. He can only cling to Michael and yelp with every hit to the most sensitive spot in him. It is just what he was trying to do. To have Michael be all over him and do this with abandon. 

They come together with Michael buried in him and one of his hands wrapped around Adam’s length. They swallow each other’s groans and shouts. Adam lets himself melt over the soft mattress with the afterglow. Michael slides down and starts kissing and licking Adam’s chest until he reaches his abdomen and cleans it all. When he shuffles upwards next to Adam and they meet in their softest kiss tonight, Adam tastes himself on Michael’s lips. They stay just like that for minutes. Michael puts dozens of light kisses on Adam’s cheeks and neck murmuring into his skin things Adam can’t really catch. 

His mind is too preoccupied. 

In the end, he rises from the bed and walks to the table where he sees the jug of wine he requested for tonight. He doesn’t bother to cover himself in any way or try to walk without half limping. He knows Michael watches him intently focusing on Adam’s body and not how it takes a little long to pour two goblets. 

They lean against the headboard together after dressing themselves in two sets of nightclothes from Michael’s wardrobe and Adam starts sipping from his own goblet. Michael watches him take in the smallest amount then lick his lips. He wipes a stray droplet from the corner of Adam’s mouth with his forefinger then puts the finger in his mouth with a playful smile. “Only you could make a mundane act as drinking so fascinating.-” Michael kisses Adam again. “-I love you.” Adam screws his eyes shut. 

Every second Michael lingers, he feels worse. He gets nauseous and his palms start to sweat. Suddenly, he is remembering a wounded kitten his mom saved from Dean and his friends. They had nothing to feed her, no warm place to put her. The poor thing had died without her family and all alone in the world. She had been killed by the cruel kids, his mom had said. The woman had actually shed tears as they buried the tiny animal. 

_ All alone, without a family _ . It is how Michael is going to die. 

Adam feels as if he is about to vomit. 

What is even happening to him? Why is he like this? He knew he was going to kill Michael. It was his only reason to be in the palace. He had been hired just for this. He had to do this. He was here for his mom.  _ The woman who cried after a kitten that was torn from life _ . But she was ill. This was the only way to help her. Only way to make sure she would be alright. And Michael is guilty for killing John when they were about to save themselves anyway. It is because of him that Kate spent another winter in that cold basement and fell into bed with fevers and fits. Adam is trying to save her here. It is for her. 

He forces himself to calm down. 

It doesn’t matter if his mom doesn’t approve of this. It doesn’t matter if Adam gets rejected by her. It doesn’t matter if she never learns the truth and never sees her son again being told he died or something. What matters is for her to get treated and get well. Adam is doing this for his mom. 

Finally, Michael takes a large sip from his own wine. Then another, and another. 

“I want to tell you something Adam.-” Michael turns to him after placing the half empty goblet on the bedside table. “-I want to bring your mother to the palace.” 

Adam bolts upright, dropping the wine and looks at Michael with wide eyes. “My… mom?” He can’t utter any other word. Michael smiles brightly and nods. “Yes, Adam. Let’s get her here. She will live comfortably. The palace’s physicians can take a look at her too. You will see her everyday. Tell me where she last was. I will send my men. And we can go once they find her. Tomorrow, the day after if she hasn’t moved from where you remember. Let’s bring her here. She is family too, right? I want you to be happy with her.” 

All at once, Adam’s eyes fill with tears. Uncontrollable sobs start to shake him. Michael calls out to him a few times and tries shaking him out of the moment of hysteria. 

“I- I am sorry, Michael. I’m sorry. It was for her. My mom. I swear.  _ I’m sorry. _ ” His voice breaks. Michael furrows his brows with confusion as he holds Adam by his wrists and tries to force his chin up. Adam only cries harder when he faces Michael again. 

Before his eyes, Michael’s breath gets caught in his throat. 

The green eyes widen with realization as he looks first at Adam’s spilled wine then back at his eyes. What he sees crushes Adam. 

Sorrow. 

Disappointment. 

Betrayal.

_ Adam too betrayed Michael.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments and kudos everyone ♥️


	3. Chapter 3

“Why?” 

The sole word echoes in the dark, filthy cell and Adam snaps his head up to meet the newcomer’s eyes. He had heard the footsteps of course but thought it was one of the guards again with stale bread and some kind of cold soup. So he almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the green eyes glaring down at him. 

Michael looks fine. Well, better than Adam last saw him on that night a week ago. The man is breathing comfortably and standing tall to look down with distaste as if inspecting a dead rat or some other lowly creature when he was choking on his own breath with tear filled eyes pleading Adam to somehow prove it all  _ wasn’t  _ happening back then. He is alive. He is here. He isn’t dying. 

Adam remembers the guilt clawing at his heart and the strange unwillingness to go through with the last of his duties that night. He remembers Michael’s warm hands and eager lips over his body, how they made Adam forget just momentarily… But then the heavy thoughts and unbanishable anxiousty had returned. And Adam had done it. He really had. Then Michael had- If he thought for a hundred years, Adam still wouldn’t think  _ that _ would come out of the mouth of the King with a thousand wives and a thousand husbands who had to be this monster that ruined Adam’s and his mom’s chance at a new life, a literal boogeyman. Yet-

In the last few days, Adam has been thinking over and over again about that night, about those last few moments the young King was conscious. _ Adam bolts upright, dropping the wine and looks at Michael with wide eyes. “My… mom?” He can’t utter any other word. Michael smiles brightly and nods. “Yes, Adam. Let’s get her here. She will live comfortably. The palace’s physicians can take a look at her too. You will see her everyday. Tell me where she last was. I will send my men. And we can go once they find her. Tomorrow, the day after if she hasn’t moved from where you remember. Let’s bring her here. She is family too, right? I want you to be happy with her.” _ So Michael really… Adam can ask him his own question now. Why? 

Why did Michael even offer such a thing, what Adam had always wanted, what he was willing to kill a man for, what he was actually murdering Michael for? Why? 

“Staying silent won’t change anything for you, slave. I already received the accounts of everyone. I read through your confessions too. What’s necessary has been done. I have already decided your fate. You better talk now. Why did you do it? Why did you spy for a disgraced Prince? Why did you try to assassinate your King? Why did you change your mind when you had succeeded?  _ Talk. _ Who are you?” Michael steps closer to the bars to see Adam better. Not that Adam is much of a sight now. He is dirty from head to toe. His hair is matted, his bare feet are covered in dust and hay from the cell’s floor, the nightgown he is still wearing resembles the rags of a peasant rather than an outfit from the King’s wardrobe after the week here and his wrists are bruised and bloody underneath the tight shackles. If anything, Adam is pitiful. He is in worse condition than he ever remembers himself being in. 

“I-” Adam takes a deep breath and coughs. The cell is cold, freezing. The single blanket is more of a sheet that does nothing against the constant chill that is slowly making Adam’s body collapse. And his throat is way too dry after almost a whole day without water. Still, he tries to compose himself with a hand over his chapped lips. Briefly, he sees Michael nodding back at a guard. A wooden cup is slid through the bars. Adam savors each drop allowing himself a little extra time before he has to spill his thoughts for the King. Michael waits patiently until he’s done. 

“My story is true as is my name. I am the illegitimate son of John Winchester who you executed a few months ago for aiding the forces of your brother. My mother was a maid in his home. I lived the life of a slave even though I was born free. The Lady passed away last year. Just after she learned of her husband’s involvement with the treason against the late King and her younger son’s affair with the disgraced Prince. He, I mean your brother, would come around pretty frequently. He spent a few weeks disguised as a servant in the Winchester Manor too. We met back then. After the Lady passed away, John Winchester had decided to marry my mother. He was going to make her a rightful noblewoman and I would finally get his last name. No matter what, no matter how everyone else treated us, he loved us but he was handicapped by the improper state of our ties. We were about to start a new life just before he was killed. My mother was gravely ill too. Prince Lucifer in the meanwhile had made a plan to plant a spy in your harem with my older brother who he wanted to marry. My oldest brother was helping too. They all saw how bitter I was, how desperate I got.”

Adam takes a break. He already told this to the men who questioned him. He is sure Michael already knows it all. Why did he take time to come down here and ask Adam himself? Adam thought he would never see anyone before being executed. He can’t understand Michael. At all. Maybe he doesn’t need to. “Prince Lucifer and Sam, my older brother, came to me with an offer. They would get my mom treated and looked after if I agreed to be the spy. They told me she would be granted her own land and estate once Prince Lucifer claimed the throne. They guaranteed my safety too. All I needed to do was-” Adam stops abruptly and swallows thickly. He thinks of the day he was ‘gifted’ to the palace as a slave by one of the moblemen supporting Lucifer. It feels so far away now. He remembers what he felt back then. It should scare him how he changed in such a short time. Michael asked him why he had a change of heart. Why, indeed? When he could have saved his mom and himself forever…

“Go on. What else have you done since you came here? What lies have you told? Why did you save my life?” Adam simply takes a breath and raises his head to face Michael. Everything is out already. There’s nothing to hide anymore. His life is about to be over. He doesn’t even want to think about his mom. He is impotent now.

“I arranged for Naomi to attack me. I purposefully riled her up. I arranged for the guards to be absent. It was to get your attention, get closer to you. I wanted my plan to move faster. My mom was dying last I saw her. I wanted to be there with her desperately. I also didn’t want to drag things on and get caught. I-” His throat starts to tighten. Suddenly, Michael punches the bars. The clanking sound echoes in the empty dungeon making Adam jump where he sits. “Why?  _ Why did you not leave me to die? _ ” Adam flinches back at the raised voice. Funny, all his life he has been treated like dirt. He had much worse than a little shouting. So why does he feel like this now? 

“Because I regretted it. Immediately, I regretted poisoning you.-” The truth in those two sentences scares Adam a little too much. His voice is cracking up now, for real for the first time. The tears that follow aren’t pretense. “ _ It was supposed to be easy! _ You were supposed to be this monster who put his brother in a death sentence, who fed on young boys and girls, who tormented his people while he lived in luxury. You were supposed to- But-  _ Why did you have to make it so hard? _ Why did you have to- No one other than my mom ever loved me. No one. So why? Why did you have to be so- so gentle with me when I was only used to being kicked around? Why did you have to try to make me happy when all I knew was to cry? Why did you have to be warm in my life that was spent in that cold basement? You even wanted to reunite me with my mom. And I understood how big of a mistake I had made right then! I was wrong to do it. You didn’t deserve to die like that. Yet I wanted to kill you.  _ I wanted to kill you! _ I am a bad person, that’s why. I stole from the kitchens back in my childhood! I slept with grown men when they threatened me and emptied their pockets too whenever I could! I killed a wounded chicken once to fill my own stomach! I have always been like this. I was going to kill you so my life would be better, so I could live with my mom. I planned it long and hard. I calculated each step. I never felt the slightest hesitation.Yet-”

A broken sob rips out of his chest. Adam can’t stop it. “I mixed ashes from the fireplace with water and made you drink it to get you to throw up. I called the guards just after you passed away. They took you and threw me in here. Now I am going to get my punishment. I did it. I wanted to kill you. I wanted you dead. And I failed.” After that, Adam draws his knees to his chest and curls in on himself to cry. He distantly hears the heavy, dragging footsteps getting far away. The torch goes with Michael. He is left in the dark in this damp, disgusting place. He probably won’t ever see the sun again. 

* * *

Why? 

Michael asks it to himself as he walks back to his chambers. Why did he go down there in the first place? What did he even want to hear? Didn’t he already make his mind? Didn’t he act as soon as he got all the reports once he came to himself five days ago? Didn’t he catch Lucifer, his lover and Adam’s oldest brother trying to leave the kingdom through the mountains? Didn’t he already decide their fates? Didn’t he find the woman too? Didn’t he decide to spare her? So why? What more business did he have with that slave? The law is clear. Michael knows what needs to be done. 

He takes huge gulps out of his goblet of cheap ale. He doesn’t think he ever will drink wine again. So he will have to let himself succumb to a mess with this ordinary drunkard’s juice. Why, he still thinks. Zachariah frowns at him from where he stands quietly in the corner. He knows. By now, Michael is pretty sure all the palace knows where he spent his morning. He can’t bring himself to care. Not now. He has more important matters to solve in his head.  _ Why did he even do it?  _

“With all due respect sir, I think you didn’t want an in person confession. You didn’t want to know why Adam betrayed you. It wasn’t important. You just needed Adam to talk. You wanted him to have a reason so good, so rightful that you could bring yourself to forgive him. That’s why you went there. You still want Adam by your side. You love him and you believe he too loved you. But don’t forget sir: each betrayal starts with love. It doesn’t change what Adam did. Now, you could choose to forgive him but that would only hurt you further. You can’t go back in time as you seem to want to. For one, returning to the past and altering it are two different things. If you were to return to that day a thousand times, Adam would still betray you a thousand times. You need to get your head together soon. You know what he did. You know what you must do.”

The old man doesn’t even bat an eye when Michael throws the golden goblet at his head and pitifully misses with the alcohol in his stream.

* * *

One morning, Adam is kicked awake. The guard doesn’t talk as he undoes the shackles, cuffs Adam’s hands and drags him out of the cell. 

In the room he is taken to, a young man probably the apprentice of a physician awaits. Adam also finds a bath ready along with a change of clothes. He doesn’t understand what’s happening. He isn’t even given the time to try to process it all. 

* * *

Michael watches out of the window, behind his curtain as Adam is walked to the carriage that awaits him. This is it. The whole matter is closed now. Michael will never see that traitor again. Finally, he can be at peace in his palace, in his kingdom. The last of the traitors will be gone in a few minutes. From now on, Michael will focus on strengthening his reign.

The door is knocked softly. He gives the okay for the guards to let the newcomer inside. He takes one last sip from the ale and turns around before wiping his lips with the back of a hand. 

Naomi smiles shyly at him in her white dress. 

* * *

Adam reads the words again and again. This one document signed and sealed by the King doesn’t seem real. It officiates his release from slavery. Adam is a freeman again. According to what the servant sitting across him says, he is going home now. John Winchester is dead. Both his sons have been along with the disgraced Prince. Adam owns everything now. Adam and his mom.

* * *

That night, Michael goes to sleep late with the woman by his side. He turns away from her and puts distance between them after he is done. She shuffles around but doesn’t dare to disturb her King in any way. Michael is too drunk, too tired to tell her to leave and bear all the noise she will make as she cleans up and dresses herself so he lets her remain. 

The morning finds him in the exact same position. Naomi is still sleeping soundlessly when Michael wakes up and gets out of the bed to freshen up. He has this unbearable headache. But he still pours the remedy his manservant left in the bathroom the night before into the chamberpot. No matter how heavy his head feels and how the slightest noise physically hurts, Michael won’t take any medication. Poison entered his bedroom before. Those vials may contain anything. Also the headache makes him focus on the pain, the moment. He doesn’t think about anything else as long as he feels that. 

He moves to splash water on his face from the basin. Something among the bottles of essential oils and soaps catches his attention as he reaches for a towel. Instead, he picks the small glass bottle up. He sees the red liquid inside and smells the roses. A picture of a young man wearing red and smiling up at him flashes in his mind. 

Naomi screams in the bedroom woken up by the loud crash. Michael hears the woman stumbling on her own feet to run to him. “My lord-” He smashes the door to her face. There’s a huge red stain on the stone wall and pieces of glass everywhere. Michael inspects his hand. He slammed the bottle so hard into the wall that a few small pieces pierced his skin. There’s blood all over him now. Michael has never hated the color more. 

* * *

_ The Lady. _

Adam still can’t believe the same laundresses his mom worked alongside call her that now. But it’s real. Even though everything that happened in the last weeks felt like a long dream, it is all real. Lucifer has been caught and punished for his treason. Sam and Dean went with him. So why is he the only one left alive? He should have been handed to the deathsmen that same day. This estate should have been added to the royal treasure.  _ Why? _

No matter how much he tries, he can’t find an answer. 

He keeps thinking back to his time in the King’s harem. He has told everything to his mom. As they happened. He got a strong slap on the cheek before his mom started questioning if he had lost his mind and how he could agree to such cruelty. Adam couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t even lift his eyes from his lap. The two of them sat until dawn that night, hugging each other and with Kate singing old lullabies to him. Just like when they were lesser beings than the dirt under Lady Mary’s fine shoes. When all they had was each other. When Adam was a small child, an innocent boy. 

He hadn’t remained innocent for long though. As he told Michael that day. He had been used, beaten, dirtied and slowly but effectively turned into one of the monsters that surrounded him. He had even wanted to murder a man knowing how wrong that was just from his mom’s teachings. That day-  _ Nothing can justify to end a human’s life, his mom would tell him if they read such a thing in one of the old books snuggled together in front of their small fireplace that was almost never alight in the dead of the winter desperately trying to forget the cold. But the King, Michael, isn’t a human. He is a monster who feeds on young girls and boys, who steals their lives and who lives a glorious life while peasants starve. Adam will do God’s work ending him.  _

Yet Michael wasn’t a monster. No. That day, it was Adam who was the monster. How could he not see that the first moment he looked into Michael’s eyes? How could he not recognize the agony, the love in that tale Michael told him of his life? How could he? 

Michael held him tight as if afraid to be forsaken by Adam too. Michael wanted to keep him safe from everything as if fearing to lose him like he did all his brothers too. Michael always tried to make him smile as if terrified of watching him lose his mind like the late Queen because of sorrow too. Michael-

_ Michael wasn’t a monster. _ He never had been one. Adam only hates himself more each passing day that these thoughts circle his head. He wishes he could- 

He doesn’t know. 

* * *

Dumbfounded, Michael blinks at Zachariah’s joyed face. The words spoken are yet to sink. Did he hear right? 

He glances at Naomi’s contented smile, her rosy cheeks and her thin frame that doesn’t look any different than always. But then again, how many weeks did Zachariah say? Six? Does it become apparent to the eye in that little time? Is it really true? Then why doesn’t Michael feel anything? Why can’t he- 

Ever since that day almost two months ago, he has been like this. No matter how strong the fire burns, how many duvets are wrapped around his shoulders, how close the woman lies the bed is always cold. Food is always bland no matter how hard the cooks work or how many spices and flavors they mix. Wine has become a great fear of his and ale no longer gives him that merry warmth on the inside he longs to feel again. Even nights are unsatisfying. It has become a chore, a duty rather than an act of love and shared wishes. Michael wants to avoid his bedroom every evening. He eats at the grand hall and works in the library rather than making use of his private dining room and study. He even considers moving the King’s chambers yet he can never bring himself to no matter how unhappy there he is. 

He never visits the harem any more. No amount of nagging of his advisors and the Head Eunuch can force him to do that. He never sees anyone other than his third Consort, Naomi, anyway. It is just a chore he saved himself from to walk that marble paved hall. Deep down, he is even afraid to do so. What if a slave feels unwell? What if one faints? What if one falls on him?  _ What if Michael himself falls? _ Even if he doesn’t think it’s possible-

“We are announcing the news to the entire palace tonight, sir. How would that suit you?” Zachariah’s voice snaps Michael out of the daze. He nods before he can process the question then turns his eyes on Naomi again. No. The woman doesn’t look any different. Not at all. Is it really happening? Is he really-

A baby. 

A son. A daughter. A little one to brighten his life. Maybe that’s what Michael needs. Maybe he will finally get his head together and become strong again. He is going to be a father. He needs to change, to get back to himself. A baby. Hope. Joy. Light. Warmth. 

Why can’t Michael feel any of those? 

* * *

Adam knows he has to go with his mom. All the nobles have been invited. Now, since then, they are too counted as such. And the Queen-to-be has sent them an individual letter demanding their presence. 

All the way to the palace, his mom looks at him with unshed tears in her eyes. 

During the ceremony, Adam feels her squeezing his hand where they sit side by side at the back row and wants to look into her eyes. He wants to smile for her and ask her to read him a tale once they return home. He can’t.

If only he could tear his gaze from the light green staring directly at him…

* * *

Michael sees  _ him _ as soon as he turns to the people with his wife’s hand clasped between his fingers. The light blue eyes flicker to the obvious bump on the newly crowned Queen’s belly just for a second then watches him throughout the one and a half hours. 

Michael doesn’t see the mother and son among the noblemen and noblewomen who formed a line to congratulate him. He doesn’t see them at all. 

He wonders if it was a dream. 

A doppelgänger maybe.

* * *

Adam has a fever. 

This is the first time it happens in years. And it is the worst one by far. He lies shirtless on his bed with wet cloths placed over his forehead and chest. He trembles miserably as people come and go all around him. They all try to ease his pain and help him relax. Adam doesn’t really see what’s going on. As always when he is ill, he is locked in a lucid dream. He sees himself in the palace, on that mat with the single pillow in the harem. He had trembled many nights just like this back there. No matter how fast he got out of there, how comfortable he got later on, he never forgot that.

“He isn’t any better yet. We are sorry madam.” Adam distantly hears one of the servants speak. His vice comes from far and is muffled. The bed dips next to him. His mom caresses his hair wet with sweat and the water with vinegar from the cloth. Her slender fingers wipe at his cheeks. He isn’t crying. Just-

“Poor child… You really love him a lot, don’t you?” 

* * *

Everything changes fast. Even though that is so, the history of his life is clear. Michael should have been used to this by now. To the confusion, the sorrow, the loss. Things change, but the direction of their change stays the same. It’s never good, never happy. His life has been filled with pain. 

Yet as Michael sits at the side of the bed with the screaming newborn in his arms and the young woman covered completely with a thin white sheet lying motionless just next to him, he feels heartbroken, hopeless, lost. 

No one tries to approach him. The baby, his son, exhausts his tiny self and falls into an uneasy sleep in the small bundle. Michael can’t bring himself to look down at him nor his lifeless mother. He is remembering all his experiences with this same emotion in his life of almost thirty years. 

He remembers the dark, devouring devastation in that day he spent praying in front of the two coffins with the sobbing Queen and Lucifer who sat silently with his eyes dull and glassy. He remembers holding his father in the man’s last moments being torn away from him by a mere arrow with a little poison dabbed at it’s iron end. He remembers being crowned two days after, all alone with his father’s pyre still burning. He remembers the moment his breath got caught in his throat under the tearful gaze of the young man who was already lost to him. He remembers the emptiness as he watched the deathsmen bring his brother down from the gallows. He remembers the color of fire, of the summer sunset, of the strawberries from his brother’s garden, of the softest lips ever and of the beautiful garments he loved seeing on the owner of those lips. He removed everything of that color from his chambers long ago. 

Why is it always what he loves that he loses the soonest? Why do angels have to fall first? 

* * *

Adam tries to brace himself, to give himself courage. 

Michael is standing just a few yards away, close to the pyre of his Queen, the mother of his newborn son. Prince Gadreel’s wails break everyone’s hearts from where the little one lies in a basket his nanny holds close to her chest. Adam wants at this moment nothing more than to cross the distance and hold the father and son in his own embrace. Even though it’s impossible… Even though he isn’t even the last person Michael would like to see… Even though- 

If only he could will himself to take a few mere steps. If only-

He wouldn’t mind the well deserved punches and insults. 

He can’t. 

* * *

_ He  _ is there. Right there. Michael wants nothing more than to walk the little distance separating them. Yet it is impossible. The memories of the poison burning his throat and the sting of betrayal appear just next to any and every thought of  _ him. _ Michael can’t allow himself to forget any of what happened. It has been more than ten months but less than eleven. Not even a year yet. 

He remembers every day and every night they spent together. He remembers lying awake and just watching him. Something he never did with his wife. He remembers bringing him close then closer yet still missing him even when they are joined as one. He never felt like that with Naomi. On the contrary, it was as if the woman was chasing him, squeezing him, choking him even when she stayed at the Consort chambers before the wedding. Michael remembers vividly how he wished for a child with him. He hadn’t even thought about that with Naomi, she was only his Kingly duty because he knew the advisors wouldn’t let him be. 

Yet Adam has betrayed Michael. 

Naomi hasn’t. She was loyal till her last breath. She died giving him a son. 

So what is love now? Being there for him in his hardest time, putting up with his temper and his drinking, staying with him, giving him a child, sacrificing her life for that… Or taking his breath away in feverish kisses, bringing laughter and happiness to him, making his heart beat with things he never felt before and sharing his passionate hours just to try to take his life? Does it matter that Michael would have given it anyway if he so asked back then? Which is love? 

_ Who is love? _

His mind provides the answer immediately. Something, a little tingling ache in his chest, struggles against it. He wishes he could extinguish that forever. 

* * *

Adam makes his mind. 

He sits at his desk, takes his pen and ink then writes. 

Hours pass like that. Soon there is a small mountain of crumpled papers and stains of ink on the carpet and his clothes and a whole mess from things he threw around as he took breaks to pace in the room. He has to do this. He has to. Or he is going to die. His mom has been completely silent about the King and the palace after the wedding they had to attend. But she keeps giving Adam looks, implying this and that with a few words. The worst is her total support. Sometimes she sleeps in his room and sings to him like one does to a small baby. She tells him tales and makes speeches about following his heart. When Adam just remembers things and his throat knots, she holds him until he is letting out choked sobs and making her cry with him. So today, three whole months after the Queen’s funeral, Adam is going to do something.  _ Anything. _

In the end, after a day of struggling and no meals, he manages to start all over on a new piece of paper with a new bottle of ink. It is as good as he can make the letter. He doesn’t even think it is going to be read but he has to write it down or else he will go insane. He has to try. He has to move on somehow. To do that, to heal, he has to save himself from all those feelings eating at him. 

_ I am starting right away. I don’t know what to call you now. And frankly, I don’t think you would like to be addressed by me anymore. I wanted to say that I am sorry. For everything you had to go through. My own life has not been easy. But it wasn’t right of me to blame it all on you like I did then. I was mistaken. You still showed mercy. My mom, healthy and strong and living the life she deserved was what I wanted all along. You gave that to me even after I did the unforgivable. I need to thank you for that. Forever, I will pray for you and your family.  _

_ The paragraph above sums up what I should be saying, what I want to say. But I must admit that wasn’t my reason for starting to write. One last time, I am going to be honest. Both to you and to me. I have a confession to make. I lied that day. When you came to question me yourself. Actually, I don’t think I even gave you a proper answer. Now, I need to clarify that. You asked me why I changed my mind and saved you even though I knew I would get caught then killed. I am giving you your answer now. I did it because of a feeling in me. The same one that forced you to let me get away with my life, I think. To be honest, I didn’t know it was there that day. Or rather, I never let myself think about it fearing what I would find in my own soul. Now that I do, I know. Maybe it isn’t right of me to do this to you in a time so hard for you. But honestly, I don’t think you will read this letter even if I am writing it to you. So I will say it once and for all and that’s going to be it. We will both be apart forever. We will both move on. We will both try to find happiness again.  _

_ Michael, I love you. This feeling, love, isn’t how I imagined at all. It makes me think of you and only you every day from the minute I wake till the hour I go to bed. It makes me dream of you. It makes me think about your son and want to surround him in my arms too. It makes me want to be there, to hold you, to help you, to be your slave, to be your servant, to accept anything just so I could see you everyday and see you joyed. This is something different. Something hard. Something so beautiful, it hurts. But Michael I think I love you a lot. I hate myself for what happened, for what I did to you. I hate myself for all the hurt I have caused you. And I love you more than I hate myself.  _

_ With this farewell, I am moving on. I will leave the kingdom as I decided or else I will die. Death is too easy for me. It’s not my time to go to Hell yet. This is my punishment. To be far away. To live with the guilt. To never see anyone I love again. My mom, my few friends and you. This will be how I repent for my sins. I will move to foreign lands, work in their fields and mines for just enough to feed myself. Much like how I lived back when I was a child. The only part to hurt me will be to forever miss you and my mom. As I suffer, I will be cleansed. And you won’t ever see me again as you raise your child and eventually find love. I will always feel for you. I will always carry you within me but stay too far to disturb your life again. Enough of me rambling now. You won’t even read this. Anyway, farewell Michael. Fare thee well. _

Adam seals the envelope and hands it to one of the horsemen to take to the palace. He pretends that the tear streaks on his face aren’t there. He succeeds to fool everyone that he is fine. It’s what he knows to do the best after all. 

* * *

Michael finds an envelope placed on his bed. 

The seal is scratched off, the letter has been opened, read and folded back. For a moment, he asks himself who would dare to do such a thing as to peer inside an envelope that belongs to him. He can’t manage to get his nerves worked up enough to be angry. He has been running back and forth between the throne room and the nursery all day. He just doesn’t have the energy nor will to tire his mind with such an unimportant matter. He wonders who left this here in his bedroom too but he can merely ask the guards who entered in his chambers then question them. Maybe tomorrow when he feels-  _ if _ he manages to merely feel. Tonight, he will settle with reading the letter and going to sleep. 

The first few lines feel like a bolt of lightning right to his heart. With haste, he squeezes the paper into a ball and throws it away somewhere before dropping to sit down on the bed. 

So Adam-

How dare he? After everything, how dare Adam? And how did his letter get in here? Who brought it? Who got it? Who scratched the seal off to deceive Michael into reading it? Who is the traitor now? Who-

He runs a hand through his hair and picks the letter back up. Maybe Adam wrote to that traitor an instruction to bring this damned thing here. Maybe there is a name. And that is important. Way too important. He doesn’t care about the meaningless words scribbled to confuse him. He doesn’t..

* * *

Adam packs himself a small bag. Old clothes. A journal with some charcoal. A patched up coat and a scarf. Some dried food will join the meager items before he takes off tomorrow. He will leave everything behind. He will disappear to where he can’t harm Michael anymore. And Michael will live his life peacefully with his son and his next spouse. He will be happy. It doesn’t matter how Adam will fare, what will happen to him. He will do this. For Michael. 

* * *

“I was mistaken sir. The messenger brought that to me rightfully fearing your wrath. I dared to look inside and swore to find a way to make you read it.-” Zachariah stands tall in front of Michael. The old man has no fear in his eyes. “-As I said, I made a grave mistake telling you to punish Adam that day. But later I saw with my own two eyes how you withered away in the course of a few days only. You could never find happiness without Adam. You never will be able to. I was wrong. You don’t love him. You were scared to even love him more than what was okay. The one who loves you, is your victim. You were afraid to make him fall for you. You valued him so much that you were afraid to force him into anything he didn’t want. And you lost all the life in you without him. Because he is you sir, he is your other half created to complete you. Without Adam, you will always be missing a part of yourself. Now, throw me in a cell, beat me, banish me but go. Go after Adam. Find him. Love him as your heart wants, as he loves you. Go, sir. Bring him home. He is air for you. Without Adam, you won’t ever breathe again.”

Michael wants to shout, to attack the eunuch. Yet in his heart, he doesn’t. 

There used to be colors, sounds, songs. Adam and him had such moments that Michael would feel the time stop, the universe still. Then Adam would be the only thing to exist. His eyes would be Michael’s haven and his lips, Michael’s salvation. They were alive, cheerful, happy, colorful. Now without Adam, it is dark in the palace. Dark and silent. 

If Adam did confess, Michael will too. Zachariah is right. He has to go. 

He wants his colors back. 

* * *

Adam walks and walks. 

The dirt road and the pebbles hurt his feet in the cheap shoes. He is sure that they are bleeding. Just like his heart. Still, he doesn’t stop. He isn’t allowed to. This is supposed to be his punishment. He will bear every aspect of it, every second of it until the day he dies. He has nothing else left in his life. He loved once. And he terminated his every chance with that with his own two hands. From now on, he doesn’t have a right to anything. He has to go. To never return. He brought nothing other than misery to everyone he loved anyway. He can’t have any of them now.

* * *

The woman, Lady Kate, points at the road Adam is said to have taken in the night. Michael runs to his horse and forces the animal to run. He doesn’t even care that he leaves his guards behind. He has to find Adam. He has to bring him back. 

* * *

By late morning, Adam is about to collapse. He lets himself stop under the shadow of a tree when he hears the rumbling. Horses?

Then he sees it. 

Michael. 

Why is he even here? What is happening? How did Michael find him? Why did he even follow Adam? Is he here to capture him? To finally punish him? Did he get the letter? Did it make him mad? Did-

“Adam-” Michael dismounts the horse and runs to him. Adam falls. “-I am here now. I got you. I came for you. Adam, it’s okay.” He hears no more. The sun is too bright and too hot. He is too thirsty. His head spins too much. It goes dark too soon. 

* * *

Adam wakes up an hour later once he is properly laid on his bed and given some water. Michael waits patiently all that time counting each minute along with the blonde woman by his side who watches him somewhat anxiously. He wants to turn and smile at her to ease her mind at least. 

He can’t take his eyes off her son. 

“Michael-” Adam jumps up on the bed. Michael catches him before he can hit his head on the headboard. “-you are here. Why? I am- Michael, I love you.  _ I love you _ .” Michael pulls him close. They don’t even kiss. They just embrace each other tightly, breathing each other in and letting tears wash away their hearts. Lady Kate watches them wiping at her own eyes with the gentlest of the smiles.

“Adam, I love you. I tried to tell myself I didn’t. I tried to live without you. I tried to keep calling you a traitor. Betrayal was one thing I could never forgive but- But my heart beats for you. With every breath, I think of you. Please don’t leave me. Don’t abandon me like this. That day I was going to ask you to marry me, Adam.” 

Adam’s eyes widen. Michael tries to look as collected and sincere as possible. He wants Adam to believe him now. So he holds Adam’s hands and waits. “Michael I- What?” Michael reaches into his pockets and finds the golden ring he had made more than a year ago. He holds it out for Adam to see. Once again, the blue eyes get moisturized. The woman gasps too. Adam glances at her then looks back at the ring. He reaches a shaking hand out as if he doesn’t quite believe it to be real. As if it will vaporize along with Michael. 

“Marry me, Adam. Be my King. Let’s leave this behind. The real traitors got what they deserved. Let’s not punish ourselves anymore. Come home with me. I want to share my life with you. I want you to be my family. I love you.” 

Adam looks right into Michael’s eyes. What he sees, strikes Michael. There is so much emotion in there. Disbelief. Joy. Hope.  _ Love. _

Michael can’t help but to lean down and lock his lips with Adam’s. 

Adam smiles into the kiss. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fun to write!  
> I hope you all like it :)
> 
> Thanks everyone for all the support.

**Author's Note:**

> -this idea has been sitting around for months! phew!  
> -mostly inspired by the series magnificent century that aired in turkey.


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